I was checking the mail one afternoon, chatting with a neighbor, when I mentioned I had surgery coming up. She asked if she could make us a meal. Then she said something that has stayed with me: bringing meals is one way our neighborhood shows up for each other. So I set up a meal train, and she passed it along. For over a week, dinner arrived at our door every night. It isn’t the first time. Our neighbors supported us when I had surgery four years ago. And nearly nine years ago, shortly...

The other week my friend called me distressed. A week earlier she had gone through a second round of layoffs in her company where she had to deliver the bad news to employees on her team. And now she was being demoted, which there was no sound reasoning for the decision. Her boss wanted to talk about the change in her role. When she told him that she was still processing her emotions and not ready to talk about it, he replied that he could handle her raw feelings. So she shared what was...

Last year a friend shared a struggle they were having managing a team. He found the emotional labor time consuming and distracting from getting the work done. Some staff needed support processing their raw emotions about work things on a routine basis. Others reported not having any feelings about issues that arose — yet the way they communicated about it painted a different, equally time-consuming picture. Different presentations. Same root: feelings become the currency for getting a need...