Like a lot of people, I’ve been watching the NBA Finals. But I haven’t just been watching basketball. I’ve been watching the nervous systems of the teams. Photo by Patrick McDermott on Getty Images As someone who spends my days helping leaders navigate difficult conversations, organizational change, conflict, and high-pressure situations, I see something in sports that often gets overlooked. At the highest levels of competition, talent is rarely the differentiator. Everyone is talented....

Recently, I’ve been reliving a traumatic experience. And I mean that quite literally. Something in my present is the exact problem I struggled with in my past, and my nervous system has been revisiting the old experience in real time. It has been disturbing. There’s no doubt about that. But it has also been incredibly healing. Not because the experience is easy. Not because I’ve figured out some magical way to bypass the discomfort. But because this time, I am resourced enough to navigate it...

In the first few years of my business, as I was gaining traction and credibility, I started getting asked to do a lot of things. Could I come speak to a class? Could I serve as a judge for a pitch competition? Could I give a talk at a conference? Could someone pick my brain over coffee? Could I donate my time, my expertise, my energy, my ideas? At first, I said yes. To almost all of it. Not because every request was aligned. Not because I had endless capacity. Not because I thoughtfully...