In college, I worked at a school-to-farm program for high schoolers who needed a different kind of education than what public schools could offer them. I was working with one student in particular who loved photography. She also tended to see the world as black and white. If she perceived something as wrong, her mindset was fixed. If someone criticized her favorite singer, she would get defensive and fight back. Her fervor was so strong it was contagious, and for a brief mom

A few months into college, I stopped automatically evacuating when the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. If you've ever lived in a dorm, you probably know the drill. The alarm blares. Everyone stumbles out of bed. People throw coats over pajamas and shuffle outside into the cold, grumbling as they wait for permission to return. At first, I followed the rules every time. But after enough false alarms - usually burnt popcorn, an overheated microwave, or someone ma

Like a lot of people, I’ve been watching the NBA Finals. But I haven’t just been watching basketball. I’ve been watching the nervous systems of the teams. Photo by Patrick McDermott on Getty Images As someone who spends my days helping leaders navigate difficult conversations, organizational change, conflict, and high-pressure situations, I see something in sports that often gets overlooked. At the highest levels of competition, talent is rarely the differentiator. Everyone i

Recently, I’ve been reliving a traumatic experience. And I mean that quite literally. Something in my present is the exact problem I struggled with in my past, and my nervous system has been revisiting the old experience in real time. It has been disturbing. There’s no doubt about that. But it has also been incredibly healing. Not because the experience is easy. Not because I’ve figured out some magical way to bypass the discomfort. But because this time, I am resourced enoug