In college, I worked at a school-to-farm program for high schoolers who needed a different kind of education than what public schools could offer them. I was working with one student in particular who loved photography. She also tended to see the world as black and white. If she perceived something as wrong, her mindset was fixed. If someone criticized her favorite singer, she would get defensive and fight back. Her fervor was so strong it was contagious, and for a brief mom

Recently, I’ve been reliving a traumatic experience. And I mean that quite literally. Something in my present is the exact problem I struggled with in my past, and my nervous system has been revisiting the old experience in real time. It has been disturbing. There’s no doubt about that. But it has also been incredibly healing. Not because the experience is easy. Not because I’ve figured out some magical way to bypass the discomfort. But because this time, I am resourced enoug

For most of my life, I thought reactivity was productivity. I didn’t call it that at the time, of course. I called it… Being driven. Being responsive. Being efficient. Being passionate. Being ambitious. But underneath all of that was a nervous system that had become deeply accustomed to urgency. A pattern that was quietly undermining my happiness, my success, and my health. And despite knowing better for years, I couldn’t do better. An idea would come to me, and I’d inst

Our nervous systems are constantly working for us. Enabling us to type on our computers (or thumb through our phones). Pumping blood throughout our bodies. Making sure we have the right resources for the moment we are facing. In truth, that last part - providing the right resources to face the situation - is an area where we have room for growth. Our autonomic nervous system manages our survival functions. It makes sure we breathe, digest food, distributes oxygen throughout

Growth is rarely neat. This article explores the messy process of speaking up, breaking people-pleasing patterns, and learning to hold both pride and shame with accountability and compassion.

A personal story about a tense HOA conversation, the nervous system’s pull toward being “right,” and how a clean apology and intentional repair can strengthen relationships—even when the stakes feel high.