When “Rude” Becomes Grounds for Punishment In my work with Parks and Recreation departments, I’ve seen a pattern emerge among staff at community centers. A patron might be curt, condescending, or simply unfriendly, and the immediate request from staff is: “Can we ban them? They were rude.” It’s understandable. No one enjoys being spoken to disrespectfully. Rudeness stings. But here’s the problem: there’s no policy against being rude. Unless a patron is blatantly harassing som

I’ve seen this time and time again—whether it’s working with librarians, coaching leaders, or even parenting my own daughter: who  the feedback comes from can be just as important as how  it’s delivered. Me playing piano at 3 years old. Take, for example, when I first led the assertiveness training for library staff. The manager wanted their team to set clearer boundaries with patrons and with each other. They wanted to avoid burnout or tense situations escalating. And while

"I tried being truthful about what was on my mind and it blew up in my face." That's what a client recently said to me as we were...

Thriving in a Complex World Requires More Than Smarts—It Requires Humanity Complexity Is the New Constant We are living in one of the...

De-escalation, Boundaries, and Leadership on the Front Lines When the Frustration Isn’t Really About You After weeks of receiving...

What a Case of Mistaken Identity Revealed About Communication in Crisis At the start of this year, I found myself dealing with a very...

One of the things I love most (and yes, sometimes groan about) in my work as a leadership coach and facilitator is how quickly the root...

Let’s face it—conflict at work is uncomfortable. Whether it’s a simmering tension in a team meeting or a full-blown misunderstanding...

My daughter has a friend who consistently illustrates just how hard it can be to hold a boundary.  Recently, she told me about a situation at school. There’s a clear rule: students do not ask adults their age. No exceptions.  One day, they had a guest speaker, and this friend of hers immediately asked, “How old are you?”  Her classmates quickly reminded her, “Hey, we’re not supposed to ask adults their age.”  And her friend’s response? “I know, I just want to know how old she

My 8 month old kitten has been significantly bigger than my 5 year old cat for the majority of the time we've had her. Despite that, the...

The other day, I witnessed an unsettling scene - an older child physically assaulted another, while a third stood nearby. Later, when...

It was the second night in a row I woke up at 2am unable to fall back asleep. I was ruminating about a situation. Playing a movie in my...

Climbing the pole for the high ropes course, my palms were sweaty. I paused a few rungs up, took some deep breaths to steady my nerves...