For most of my life, I thought reactivity was productivity. I didn’t call it that at the time, of course. I called it… Being driven. Being responsive. Being efficient. Being passionate. Being ambitious. But underneath all of that was a nervous system that had become deeply accustomed to urgency. A pattern that was quietly undermining my happiness, my success, and my health. And despite knowing better for years, I couldn’t do better. An idea would come to me, and I’d inst

Our nervous systems are constantly working for us. Enabling us to type on our computers (or thumb through our phones). Pumping blood throughout our bodies. Making sure we have the right resources for the moment we are facing. In truth, that last part - providing the right resources to face the situation - is an area where we have room for growth. Our autonomic nervous system manages our survival functions. It makes sure we breathe, digest food, distributes oxygen throughout

A personal story about a tense HOA conversation, the nervous system’s pull toward being “right,” and how a clean apology and intentional repair can strengthen relationships—even when the stakes feel high.

Last week, I wasn’t at meetings or crossing off my to-do list. I was in bed - sick, tired, and reminded of a lesson I keep learning, sometimes accepting the challenge means letting go. It can look like saying no. Asking for help. Receiving help. Prioritizing rest and basic needs instead of pushing through to meet everyone else’s. That is not quitting; it’s clarity. It’s kindness. It’s courage. The Question I Ask Every Year In my annual planning workshop, there’s a reflection

Some years start with crisp plans and fresh notebooks…and end with a pile of should’ves. Mine did. In 2017, right after publishing A Misfit Entrepreneur’s Guide to Building a Business Your Way , I mapped bold programs and growth goals. I was energized, clear, and ready. And then I wasn’t. A wave of unprocessed, complex trauma pulled me under. Tasks that used to be simple, sending a newsletter, attending a networking event, pitching a perspective client, felt like climbing a c

The other day, on the walk from my daughter’s school to the car, we overheard a teenager listing her instruments: “I know how to play piano. I know how to play clarinet…” My daughter, who’s been studying piano for 5 years, looked up and asked, “What does it mean to know how to play the piano?” Such a simple question. Such a revealing one. We say “I know” as if there’s a finish line. But most meaningful skills don’t work that way. Knowledge expands. Context shifts. Our craft