A few months ago, a mentor challenged me by asking, "When are you going to stop letting your Trauma define you, Ariana?"
I back pedaled, feeling judged and ridiculed. "It's just a part of my story. I don't feel like it defines me. But I cannot deny that it's shaped me and plays a role in my life."
Breaking the Silence Around Trauma
Afterwards I wondered, "do I talk about having Trauma too much?" I was speaking with a good friend. We often share openly and deeply of ourselves and our struggles. It made me realize, even in relationships with trust, we can feel criticized by trauma judgement.
As a writer, coach, consultant, friend, and leader, I have chosen to openly share about dealing with Trauma because it's a way to normalize these otherwise stigmatized struggles.
In one-on-one conversations I consistently hear how others' are not only suffering from Trauma but are feeling so alone. Part of that is because so many people will quickly dismiss their story and needs. As a society, we struggle to talk about pain and discomfort. So we tend to avoid those topics despite how much they shape our lives and work.
Understanding Trauma
I continue to be amazed at the ways my own Trauma impacts my work and life.
If I'm not resourced, it'll sneak up on me and derail my efforts. It's like the movie Inside Out, where Fear takes over the master control board at the most inopportune times. Not only is Fear running the show, but with Trauma, it has locked up Joy, Sadness and Disgust and drives me into a pit of despair. Suddenly things that were no big deal, like calling a prospective client, become insurmountable obstacles.
Processing things in real time (sometimes with the support of others) helps me take back control. It helps me gain footing in my current reality rather than re-enacting the past and sinking further into the abyss. I’ve learned to cultivate the power of the here and now, the present, and with it, the ability to affect my choices and decisions.
Trauma is More than the Event
This is what leaders need to understand about Trauma in the workplace.
"Trauma isn't what happened to you. It's what happens inside of you." Gabor Mate
Trauma happens when the internal resources of the individual were insufficient for handling an event or a series of events. Think of causing a breaker to short circuit because too many appliances are plugged into the outlet. That's what Trauma is like, the nervous system is overwhelmed and short circuits. In an interview, Gabor Mate said, "Trauma is when you are actually wounded and as a result, you're constricted and limited and constrained by what happened."
This is why some people might experience Trauma while others that had the exact same experience do not. It's a matter of the presence or lack of internal resources for managing the psychological demands of the circumstances. And what’s more, the trauma continues to live with them like an unwanted passenger who grabs the steering wheel of a car and veers us off the road while driving 75 miles an hour down the highway - all in the name of “self-preservation.”
In his book, The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel A. van der Kolk explains, “We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think.”
Trauma and Workplace Performance
It's not a leaders' place to judge whether or not someone has endured Trauma. That said, it is important to understand the impacts of trauma. Because Trauma affects performance. Things like lost productivity, persistent conflicts or misunderstandings, trouble completing tasks, excessive mistakes, an inability to take initiative or make decisions can be signs of a trauma response.
Let me be clear, the workplace isn't therapy. But forecasting is an essential part of a leader's job. That means anticipating challenges, opportunities, needs and threats, then preparing to address them accordingly.
Navigating the Modern Workforce by Leading with Empathy
Reports show that 42% of Gen Z have a mental health condition. That's a staggering statistic. And what's more, Gen Z expects their emotional needs to be supported in the workplace.This generational shift is occurring now and has the potential to increase in the future.
And if that's not enough, in 2024 Six Seconds - the global research leaders in Emotional Intelligence - declared we are in an emotional recession. They also found that "burnout increased in 65% of workplace sectors."
When managers find themselves scratching their heads about young professionals (or anyone, really) saying things like:
"Why are they making such a big deal about...?"
"This shouldn't have to be so hard..."
"Wow, what an overreaction to...."
"They're blowing this way out of proportion..."
"They've done this kinda thing a dozen times, why the sudden problem?"
The possibility of an employee struggling with a Trauma response is undeniable. And the way a leader responds can either push them further into the abyss or shine a beacon of hope. Simply By intentionally signaling for and prioritizing their felt sense of safety in the workplace, a leader can change the course of their team member’s trajectory.
Wondering what a leader can do to foster safety? We’ll touch on that in future articles. Did this article spark any other questions you’d like answered? Let us know here.
This article has been reviewed and approved by our clinical advisor, Jake Lohwater LCSW.
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