Updated: Mar 1, 2022
Last fall I did something completely unexpected…I moved my family into a new home. It was an exciting change and as we approached moving day I was eager with anticipation.
It wasn’t until after we moved that I started to feel lethargic, fatigued and overwhelmed…turns out moving really is stressful. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt depressed, lost, exhausted, unable to focus…
Rather then get sucked into the vortex of over-analyzing the situation by asking questions like, “Why do I feel this way?”or “Why is this happening now?” I followed Tasha Eurich‘s advice from her book, Insight. She suggests asking, “What Not Why.”
So, instead I started asking myself questions like, “What am I feeling?” and “What can I do to elevate how I feel now?”
As I processed those questions, a number of things came to mind, namely that I needed to reboot. Much like when my computer gets stuck or the printer won’t work, or I download an update, I too sometimes need to manually reboot, recenter, reground and regroup. Usually I only need to do a small reboot, like taking a few deep breaths to recenter myself after experiencing a subtle triggering event.
This time, I needed a more significant reboot, like when you upgrade the operating system on your computer and it takes 20 minutes to reload. Before this, I hadn’t moved for almost 10 years, and while the move has quite literally been all good, it is a major change in my life as well as my day-to-day habits.
The house we left was where we brought our daughter when we came home from the hospital. It was the first home my husband and I bought. It’s where we celebrated many birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and the like. It was also home to our infamous basil tress, a phenomena unlike any I’ve ever seen before or will likely see again (I’m talking about seriously epic basil plants we have made gallons of pesto from among other goodies).
Luckily, I know just what I need to do to navigate this major reboot. It’s all of the things I normally do to relax and rejuvenate myself, only with this major life transition I needed to give myself more time and space…these things include: * Getting a good night of sleep (or taking a nap) * Going to a restorative yoga class * Writing in my journal * Taking deep breaths throughout the day * Talking with a friend * Getting a massage or acupuncture * Repeat, repeat, repeat…
We anticipate major life transitions in our culture with much fanfare in advanced and little follow through on the back end. Just think about all the weddings, baby showers and retirement parties you have gone to. We put a proverbial stake in the ground, you were single, childless, or employed and now you are not. And we act like now that you’ve crossed the threshold from one realm into the next you are instantly a master of your new life.
But learning to navigate these transitions is more subtle and nuanced than that. There might be things from your past that no longer serve your needs. You’ll likely have to acquire new skills. Suddenly, you have a different vantage point and your perspective starts to change as well. And somehow you have to figure out how to simultaneously let go, take control and make sense of things you didn’t even know existed a mere moment before.
This is when it is a good time to reboot. Here are some of the reflection questions I’ve pondered in my journal to help me reboot so I may better navigate life’s transitions. 1. What transition are you experiencing? 2. What centers or grounds you? 3. What rejuvenates or energizes you? 4. What can you do now to honor the past, embrace the present and prepare for the future?
What helps you navigate life’s transitions? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.
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