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We All Feel Lonely Sometimes, Here are Four Reflection Questions to Help You Deal

Today I want to explore a topic nobody ever talks about, but all of us feel…loneliness.

A few months ago at church there was a sermon where we explored reconciling. During the service we were instructed to text (I know how very 21st century) the things we felt ashamed about in our lives. Then our stories were anonymously woven into the sermon.

There were a lot of really heavy and traumatic things shared. But one thing that a number of people wrote stood out to me, they were ashamed to feel lonely. I was shocked, “how can you be ashamed to feel lonely, we all feel lonely?” I thought to myself. “I feel lonely and I’m not afraid to admit it.”

As time passed I started to question myself, “if I am not afraid to admit that I sometimes feel lonely, then why haven’t I EVER admitted it?”

I mean, I’ve told my Mom, my husband and a few really close friends when I have felt lonely in the past. But by and large I guard sharing that feeling from others like I’m about to cop to having the plague. As I thought about it more, I realized, I AM ashamed to feel lonely!

Sometimes I am so lonely I feel completely empty.

“if I am not afraid to admit that I sometimes feel lonely, then why haven’t I EVER admitted it?”

And I don’t think I’m alone. (At least, I’m telling myself I’m not so I feel more comfortable writing this post.) But seriously, the need to belong, the need to feel a connection with other people is hardwired into our very being. Yet, it is impossible to always feel connected.

With feelings of deep connection and a strong sense of belonging comes the opposite. Painful feelings of loneliness, emptiness and heartache. It is the blessing and the curse of our humanity. Even when you are surrounded by the people you love dearest, you can feel lonely. It happens. It’s normal.

If you’re like me, it can be really hard to put yourself out there when you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness, emptiness or heartbreak. This can be a real problem, as the Misfit Entrepreneur must put herself out there! You might be able to retreat for some time, but you can’t just hide indefinitely from the world! Which means, you’ve got to learn to acknowledge the feelings without becoming consumed by them.

As you can imagine, your journal is a great place to process these feelings. Here are some questions I have grappled with in my own journals over the years.

When have I felt lonely, empty or heartbreak recently? How can I better cope with these feelings of loneliness, emptiness or heartbreak? When do I feel connected with other’s? What community(ies) do I feel at home in?

What’s Rosabella Consulting Up To?

I’ve been on a tour de libraries and I love it!

Earlier this month, I had the privilege of presenting at the Poudre River Library District’s Staff Training Day! I spoke about the Neuroscience of Conversation: What Everyone Needs to know and jam-packed my 10 minutes with a blend of information and stories that left me breathless at the end…ok not really, but we covered a lot of ground in a short amount of time and not surprisingly, the library staff was highly engaged with the topic!

Last week, I had the pleasure of presenting at the Louisville Public Library about Conversational Intelligence. This time I had an hour, which was also jam packed with nuggets about why leaders fail and how to get employee buy-in for change initiatives.

Need a speaker or trainer for your event? Get in touch, I’d love more opportunities to share my passion and empower more leaders to succeed using Conversational Intelligence!

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